About Me

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I am very passionate and full of all kinds of emotions. I like to express myself through my poetry and hopefully someone can connect and identify with my poems. My poetry comes from the heart.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Break Away

I vomit the truth
like a love sick dog -
I need you
I worship you

I scratch at your chest
I hang on your feet
You hold me by my wrists
You push me to the ground

I lie here screaming
I wish you could hear me
Hear my heart aching
from this great loss

Disorientated from the
chaos in my head
Trying to understand
the death you speak so calm

I am utterly depending on you
You give this dull being -
A reason to live
A reason to die

Monday, 17 October 2011


If music could be injected
into my blood stream,
I will always hum a happy tune.

It will flow through my veins
like the heat from your body.
You’ll be my high note.

If rhythm could be inhaled 
into my hollow lungs,
I will whisper a sleeping la-la bye.

It will fill my head
like the power from your soul.
You’ll be my single lyric.

If melodies could be absorbed
into my cold skin,
I will never be alone again.

It will awake my heart
like the soft touch from your hands.
And you’ll be my only song.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Just plain me

I don’t have the intelligent words to fool you with.
All I have is my feelings and emotions.
And all is the bloody truth.
I may seem dull and to uncomplicated for you.
But the truth is,
I’m really fucked up.
I may seem unsuperior for your attention.
But you still demand mine.
You made me desire you with your easy ways.
You’re such a beautiful human being.
I’m not the cool, calm and collected type.
Nor the silly, loud one.
I’m just plain me.

Monday, 26 September 2011

Dark Deeps

Staying awake is difficult
Sleeping is impossible
Inhaling is restricted
Exhaling unimaginable

Dwelling thoughts
Reacquiring anxiety
Tired body
Exhausted mind

Stuck in a depressing circle
Consuming your life
Destroying your will
to survive

It’s in these dark deeps
where you find comfort
You become numb
from all the pain

New Born

Your voice is crystal clear.
It awakes me from
what I thought
was an eternal slumber.

You made me the powerful
beast I am today.
Proud and strong
I hold you in my arms.

You inspire me to
be my very best.
Now I am complete.
In mind, body and soul.

Monday, 19 September 2011


You’re like the air
I breathe in.
You fill my swollen lungs
And sooth my aching body.

You’re like the air
I feel on my skin.
You calm my nervous mind
And give my soul rest.

You’re like the air
I keep within.
You pick me up from depressing deeps
And lift me to higher hopes.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Heart-Art: Disease

Heart-Art: Disease: You’re a disease I carry in my heart. You feed on my flesh. Deteriorate my soul. You leave me empty inside. A hollow being. You leave me ho...

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Heart-Art & Blue Pear

Worst Enemy

You look me in the eyes
And the lies come spilling out

 You rub salt into my wounds
The wounds you’ve created

You punish me for your mistakes
You cut my nose to spite your face

I am my own worst enemy.

A Mothers Love

Some day God will send
you down from heaven.
He’ll lend me one of his own angels,
to for full my only dream.

You’ll be my salvation.
You’ll steal my whole heart,
and heal it with your soft touch.

There is no love
like a mothers love.


Tuesday, 16 August 2011

You took everything

I am the little lamb.
You are the lustful lion.

You concurred my body.
I will never be free from you.

You invaded my mind.
I will never forget your name.

You gave me scars.
They will never heal.

You wrecked my dreams.
I will never sleep again.

You covered my soul with your dirt.
I can never be cleansed.

You injected me with your poison.
I will never live again.

You used your strength.
Against my own will.

You took everything.

Friday, 5 August 2011

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When you're with her

We’re sitting here,
watching the sun disappear.
All I can hear,
your sweet voice…
Whispering in my ear.

Your cool breath,
blowing trough my hair.
You tell me you’re in love.
But I don’t think this is fair.

You only love me
when you’re alone.
Never thinking of me
when you’re with her.

You’re quick to call
every time you fall.
Then I hear
your sweet voice…
But you don’t love me at all.

Your warm touch,
running trough my hair.
You tell me you’re in love.
But I don’t think this is fair.

You only need me
when you’re alone.
Never wanting me
when you’re with her.

She doesn’t love you,
like I do.
Still I’m your second choice.
She doesn’t need you,
like I do.
Still, you’re with her.

I’ll end this here.
Before all the beauty disappears.
I never want to hear,
your sweet voice…
Burning my ear.

My Friends

Sitting on the floor
Counting them one by one
At first it was harmless fun
Now it’s a necessity

Way back they used to be my friends
Now they own my life

Taking my pain
Taking my soul
Taking my self-respect
Giving me hope

They are addictive
But somehow I managed them
This time I won’t be so lucky
I never am

Scared to let them go
Scared of being alone
Scared of living this life
Scared of dying like this

They never loved me
They never cared
They’re dead
They’re deadly

I am all alone

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Loved One

Words fall short
My heart goes numb
I’m stung by your beauty
Paralysed by your gaze

This hands of a gentlemen
Knows the way around a woman
Your scent muscular and strong
Yet it falls gentle on my lips

My body trembles against your skin
Soaks up the warmth you give
My eyes can’t believe
Here with me – a perfect creature

I’ll sacrifice everything
To feel this way forever
Addicted to your voice
Falling unconscious at your smile

Unaware of the power you hold
You play with this innocent heart
Everyday without you seems like torture
Ripping my soul apart

Still I carry you in my dreams
Every night we meet again
In this life you loved me
The same way I loved you.

Seven Deadly Sins

Black heart
Blue eyes
Lips sweet and poisonous

Sharp tongue
Bitter mouth
Head strong but mad

Envy and lust spilling over
Creeping into every corner
Consuming all pure thoughts

Body breathing
Soul died
Giving up on all that was denied

Anger burning
Roaring rage
Pride bursting out my rib cage 

Call me greedy
I want all of you
Devoured by my gluttony

Lazy me
Leaves God’s gifts unused
Reluctant to make an effort

Sins destroy charity in mans heart
I lead to eternal death
I am sinfully me

Monday, 1 August 2011


Body breaking

Falling fast
Sinking slow
Losing self control

Spit dripping
Feet limping

Stripping to breath

Hold me my rocking chair
Put your arms
around my aching chest

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

I Apologize

You wear this innocent
smile on your lips.
The pain flickering
deep inside your beauty.

You will never know why.
You will never be burdened again.
You will never hear my selfish voice,
whispering lies in you ear.

I took your innocence.
I gave you strength.
I took your love.
I gave you my trust.

You are strong and wise.
You took a chance on loving me.
So I apologize
To the one that got hurt.

You will never know why.
You will never be hurt again.
You will never feel my selfish grip,
wringing your neck.

I took your innocence.
I gave you pain.
I took your love.
I gave it away.

You showed me beauty
I thank you for that.
Still I apologize
to the one that got hurt.

You gave me comfort
I admire you for that.
Still I apologize
to the one that got hurt.

Love War

Black stains on the pillow,
This time replaced by blood.
You whispered that you cared,
The love was already lost.

The war is over.
All was said.
You pulled the sword.
I killed the passion.

How can I breath
when I’m dead inside?
Crippled by the fighting.
Lying still in the dust left from you.

A heart once beating for us
drained dry.
Hollow helpless            numb
Nor dead or alive.

Finding another soul.
I will carry this pain forever.
Finding love after death.
Life after lost.

Crawled up dead on the bed.
Taking the first breath.
Letting go of everything known.

Monday, 25 July 2011

Dragon Lady

You speak your words
like a dragon breathing fire.
You fight with vicious claws.
Your resilience astonishes me.

How I wish I could
be as strong as you.
You always taught me how.
Somehow I failed.

The truth is I think,
we all have our different ways
of combating demons in our path.
Maybe it’s my war to fight.

Your power makes me afraid-
Afraid if failing
Afraid of not being you
Afraid of being myself.

Hopefully someday my daughter
will look up to me.
Also see me as the dragon lady.
Not fearing the fire burning in my powerful soul.


I will slit my wrist to empty the pain.
Words can’t help me now.
I’m tired of speaking an empty mind.
It’s the only way to express myself.

Talking was a useful trick.
Even when nobody listened.
Maybe now you can see,
All this pain locked inside of me.

A mixture of anxiety, fear and pain.
All tangled up in my veins
Bleeding out will save my head.
Still a hollow heart remains.

Sunday, 24 July 2011


What’s worth giving up-
A dream of living
A dream dieing

Is it better to live a life with no regrets?
Or always walking on eggshells?

When can I be me-
When will I be loved being me?
Will you accept my individuality?
Will you keep on pressing your stamp?

Breathing air is what I do
Breathing my own way is the only way I know how

Being different
And being stubborn is two of a kind.
Not being me instead of you
Is the only kind

Love or let go.
Obey or die.

My Darling

Your soft skin
against my broken body.
I am safe from the cold.

You protect me
from the world that's so cruel.
And I am grateful for you.

And if I want to,
Can I please just tell you?
That I'll always love you.

And if I need to,
Can I please just show you?
That I'll always care for you.

You are my darling.

You heal me,
as you pull the thorns
from my tired soul.

And I trust you.
When you take my hand
and you hold it real tight.

Your heart is in a cage.

Your heart is in a cage.
My finger is on the trigger.
Your body is heavy yet restless.
My mind tired of your tricks.

I fell hard.
You didn’t hold on to me.
I’ve dealt with the fact.
I’ve been given the worst.

Voices in my head,
tell me you’re long gone.
Time to move on,
to a peaceful place.

You turned a blind eye.
Never saw the beauty,
I had to give.
To your selfish heart.

You’re never satisfied.
You are your own worst enemy.
Denying yourself of love.
All the pleasure and pain it brings.

You wake up day by day.
But never go to sleep.
Never dreaming
of the love of your life.


Someone once told me:
The mind is a powerful thing.
Only you can make the choice.
Live your life to the full.
Let it all go to waist.

So I asked them:
What if your passion for living,
was stolen bit by bit?
What will be your fuel for life?
What will be your drive?

When the damage is done.
When I am left with none.
How do I get up?
How do I move on?
With absolute no resilience.

Gods Gift

I am able and willing to love.
I am passionate and humble.
I am caring and understanding.
I am vulnerable and full of emotion.
I am scared and reckless.
I am brave and victorious.
I am strong and sturdy.
I am hopeful and trusting.
I am imperfect.
I am a daughter, a mother, a friend and a lover.

I am Gods gift.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Bad News

A tear dripped from your eye.
Fell into my dry mouth.
How bitter sweet this tastes.
You can’t stand the words I speak so softly.
I want to cover your ears.
Protect you from myself.
I was never in love but I loved you.
I enjoyed your affection.
I demanded your attention.
I am a petty thief.
I stole your trust and love and passion.
I deny nothing nor do I regret anything.
Do remember you are special.
Just not meant for me.

Friday, 22 July 2011


I can’t heal your face.
I can’t cover your heart.
You have to fight for yourself.
Destroy your own demons.

I can’t build your home.
I can’t raise your children.
You have to grow yourself.
Nourish your own angels.

Stop the tears and accusations!
You’re hurting my soul.
Tearing me up day by day.
Trashing my world.

Feel free to scream at me.
I can’t help you now.
Feel free to hit my head.
I can’t keep you calm.

Take another bite at my heart.
I won’t cry for you.
Toss another insult my way.
I won’t pray for you.

I can’t carry you anymore.
Learn to walk yourself.
Lay in the grave,
you digged yourself.

I can’t save your soul.
Nor fix your head.
I’m not your pillar anymore.
I’m a damaged child.

The Last Meal

Light me another cigarette
while you pick the last crumbs from
my broken body.

Don’t cry,
this is my sacrifice.
You made this child.

You have taken everything,
now take my life.
Drink the wine I poured.

Let’s get on with it.
My patience is running low.
The drugs are clearing up.
Cigarettes burning out.

After feeding on my soul,
please burn the remains.
I don’t want the vultures to take what’s left of me.

Curse this last meal.
Vomit the ghost.
God knows you’ll pay for this.

Blue Pear Photography

Love to hate you

I will get to know you
know the person hiding behind
the ice wall.
You’re not my god.

I wish I could change
the way you see.
I wish I could change
the way I feel.

I was made to love you.
You were made to break my soul.
Please sit down so we can talk.
I want to get to know you.

Do tell me a story.
Tell me about your not so perfect ways.
This is after all
my heart on the line.

No I will not regret the words
I speak with fear.
I will get to know you
know the person holding my heart.

Hope you fall from your pedestal
I put you upon.
I would like to find
the ugly I so desperately seek.

Come on and show me
your true colours.
There is no beauty so addictive
That this pain is worth it all.

I would love to hate you.