About Me

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I am very passionate and full of all kinds of emotions. I like to express myself through my poetry and hopefully someone can connect and identify with my poems. My poetry comes from the heart.

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

I Apologize

You wear this innocent
smile on your lips.
The pain flickering
deep inside your beauty.

You will never know why.
You will never be burdened again.
You will never hear my selfish voice,
whispering lies in you ear.

I took your innocence.
I gave you strength.
I took your love.
I gave you my trust.

You are strong and wise.
You took a chance on loving me.
So I apologize
To the one that got hurt.

You will never know why.
You will never be hurt again.
You will never feel my selfish grip,
wringing your neck.

I took your innocence.
I gave you pain.
I took your love.
I gave it away.

You showed me beauty
I thank you for that.
Still I apologize
to the one that got hurt.

You gave me comfort
I admire you for that.
Still I apologize
to the one that got hurt.

Love War

Black stains on the pillow,
This time replaced by blood.
You whispered that you cared,
The love was already lost.

The war is over.
All was said.
You pulled the sword.
I killed the passion.

How can I breath
when I’m dead inside?
Crippled by the fighting.
Lying still in the dust left from you.

A heart once beating for us
drained dry.
Hollow helpless            numb
Nor dead or alive.

Finding another soul.
I will carry this pain forever.
Finding love after death.
Life after lost.

Crawled up dead on the bed.
Taking the first breath.
Letting go of everything known.

Monday, 25 July 2011

Dragon Lady

You speak your words
like a dragon breathing fire.
You fight with vicious claws.
Your resilience astonishes me.

How I wish I could
be as strong as you.
You always taught me how.
Somehow I failed.

The truth is I think,
we all have our different ways
of combating demons in our path.
Maybe it’s my war to fight.

Your power makes me afraid-
Afraid if failing
Afraid of not being you
Afraid of being myself.

Hopefully someday my daughter
will look up to me.
Also see me as the dragon lady.
Not fearing the fire burning in my powerful soul.


I will slit my wrist to empty the pain.
Words can’t help me now.
I’m tired of speaking an empty mind.
It’s the only way to express myself.

Talking was a useful trick.
Even when nobody listened.
Maybe now you can see,
All this pain locked inside of me.

A mixture of anxiety, fear and pain.
All tangled up in my veins
Bleeding out will save my head.
Still a hollow heart remains.

Sunday, 24 July 2011


What’s worth giving up-
A dream of living
A dream dieing

Is it better to live a life with no regrets?
Or always walking on eggshells?

When can I be me-
When will I be loved being me?
Will you accept my individuality?
Will you keep on pressing your stamp?

Breathing air is what I do
Breathing my own way is the only way I know how

Being different
And being stubborn is two of a kind.
Not being me instead of you
Is the only kind

Love or let go.
Obey or die.

My Darling

Your soft skin
against my broken body.
I am safe from the cold.

You protect me
from the world that's so cruel.
And I am grateful for you.

And if I want to,
Can I please just tell you?
That I'll always love you.

And if I need to,
Can I please just show you?
That I'll always care for you.

You are my darling.

You heal me,
as you pull the thorns
from my tired soul.

And I trust you.
When you take my hand
and you hold it real tight.

Your heart is in a cage.

Your heart is in a cage.
My finger is on the trigger.
Your body is heavy yet restless.
My mind tired of your tricks.

I fell hard.
You didn’t hold on to me.
I’ve dealt with the fact.
I’ve been given the worst.

Voices in my head,
tell me you’re long gone.
Time to move on,
to a peaceful place.

You turned a blind eye.
Never saw the beauty,
I had to give.
To your selfish heart.

You’re never satisfied.
You are your own worst enemy.
Denying yourself of love.
All the pleasure and pain it brings.

You wake up day by day.
But never go to sleep.
Never dreaming
of the love of your life.


Someone once told me:
The mind is a powerful thing.
Only you can make the choice.
Live your life to the full.
Let it all go to waist.

So I asked them:
What if your passion for living,
was stolen bit by bit?
What will be your fuel for life?
What will be your drive?

When the damage is done.
When I am left with none.
How do I get up?
How do I move on?
With absolute no resilience.

Gods Gift

I am able and willing to love.
I am passionate and humble.
I am caring and understanding.
I am vulnerable and full of emotion.
I am scared and reckless.
I am brave and victorious.
I am strong and sturdy.
I am hopeful and trusting.
I am imperfect.
I am a daughter, a mother, a friend and a lover.

I am Gods gift.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Bad News

A tear dripped from your eye.
Fell into my dry mouth.
How bitter sweet this tastes.
You can’t stand the words I speak so softly.
I want to cover your ears.
Protect you from myself.
I was never in love but I loved you.
I enjoyed your affection.
I demanded your attention.
I am a petty thief.
I stole your trust and love and passion.
I deny nothing nor do I regret anything.
Do remember you are special.
Just not meant for me.

Friday, 22 July 2011


I can’t heal your face.
I can’t cover your heart.
You have to fight for yourself.
Destroy your own demons.

I can’t build your home.
I can’t raise your children.
You have to grow yourself.
Nourish your own angels.

Stop the tears and accusations!
You’re hurting my soul.
Tearing me up day by day.
Trashing my world.

Feel free to scream at me.
I can’t help you now.
Feel free to hit my head.
I can’t keep you calm.

Take another bite at my heart.
I won’t cry for you.
Toss another insult my way.
I won’t pray for you.

I can’t carry you anymore.
Learn to walk yourself.
Lay in the grave,
you digged yourself.

I can’t save your soul.
Nor fix your head.
I’m not your pillar anymore.
I’m a damaged child.

The Last Meal

Light me another cigarette
while you pick the last crumbs from
my broken body.

Don’t cry,
this is my sacrifice.
You made this child.

You have taken everything,
now take my life.
Drink the wine I poured.

Let’s get on with it.
My patience is running low.
The drugs are clearing up.
Cigarettes burning out.

After feeding on my soul,
please burn the remains.
I don’t want the vultures to take what’s left of me.

Curse this last meal.
Vomit the ghost.
God knows you’ll pay for this.

Blue Pear Photography

Love to hate you

I will get to know you
know the person hiding behind
the ice wall.
You’re not my god.

I wish I could change
the way you see.
I wish I could change
the way I feel.

I was made to love you.
You were made to break my soul.
Please sit down so we can talk.
I want to get to know you.

Do tell me a story.
Tell me about your not so perfect ways.
This is after all
my heart on the line.

No I will not regret the words
I speak with fear.
I will get to know you
know the person holding my heart.

Hope you fall from your pedestal
I put you upon.
I would like to find
the ugly I so desperately seek.

Come on and show me
your true colours.
There is no beauty so addictive
That this pain is worth it all.

I would love to hate you.


Keep her safe
from screaming voices.
Judgemental reasoning.
Violent thoughts.

Protect her from
poison people.
Save her from
sweet ignorance.

Soothe her pain,
this poor terrified child.
Blinded by lies.
Crippled by the world.

Give her truth and choice
and a will to survive.
Give her knowledge
about the demons in this life.

Wisdom is the key
To a future of success.
Be her safe house.
Warm, kind and caring.

Blue Pear Photography

The other woman

She crawled
underneath your thick skin
like a butchers knife
cutting trough a carcass.

She healed
your scars of loneliness
with her patience,
and tenderness.

She softened
your black heart.
Made you believe
in love again.

She gave
you hope to live.
Took away
all your pain.

She shown
the sun on you
where you were hiding
in the shadows of doubt.

She took
all your hesitation.
Made you willing
to fight for her.

She opened
your eyes so you could see,
all the beauty
in her loving soul.

Blue Pear Photography

Watch your words

Put a guard in front of my mouth.
I’ll put a foot in yours.
Your stupidity scares me.
My voice becomes a bore.

Every look, word or move
made in anger.
Every sharp tongue
painted in spite.
Every time you walk out,
shatters my heart.

Time to watch your words.
Count them one by one.
Swallow them whole.

Being defensive builds the walls
that breaks the view.
Being silly breaks the strings
that ties us together.

This sucks the creativity
out of my bones.
Kills the passion in my soul.
When you wake up, it’ll be to late.

I’ll watch my words.
Swallow them one by one.
Count the days till you’re gone.


You’re a disease
I carry in my heart.
You feed on my flesh.
Deteriorate my soul.

You leave me empty inside.
A hollow being.
You leave me hopeless.
Now I am ready to die.

Heart-Art: A Lovers Letter

Heart-Art: A Lovers Letter: "You’re soft on the eyes, and on my lips. One touch of your hands, my life begins again. Any other old day, I would have walked away. But I ..."

Heart-Art: Beautiful Mask

Heart-Art: Beautiful Mask: "I want to be cute write you butterflies you can stick them in your head let your thoughts fly maybe you will love me more so much that yo..."

Beautiful Mask

I want to be cute
write you butterflies
you can stick them in your head
let your thoughts fly

maybe you will love me more
so much that you go blind
you won’t see my scars
nor will you find the ugly

the truth shall always rise
ruin the beauty that you adore
reveal the demons
reveal the pain

shut down and cover your ears
you know this isn’t me
pain staining my pretty dress
telling me what to say

I want to be perfect
write you lulu-byes
you can hum them in your head
disguise the truth about me
paint the beautiful mask you see

Broken Body

My heart may be hollow.
But my body can feel
you beside me.

My eyes may be blind.
But my soul
is still burning.

Quench my thirst for your love.
Give in to my broken body.
I may be dead inside.
But I’m eager to live again.

My voice may be shaking.
But I’m screaming
out your name.

My feet may be aching
But I’ll follow
your every move.

Quench my thirst for your love.
Heal my broken body.
I may be dead inside.
But I’m eager to love again

A Lovers Letter

You’re soft on the eyes,
and on my lips.
One touch of your hands,
my life begins again.

Any other old day,
I would have walked away.
But I have waited
my whole life for you.

I tried to fix myself,
I wasn’t broken.
All I needed was
a helping hand.

I thought my wounds
would never heal.
You have saved me.

I couldn’t breath
because I was lost.
You have found me.

I feel safe.
I feel warm.
I feel loved
when I’m with you.

I feel tender.
I feel beautiful.
I feel complete
when I make love to you.

The time is right.
We both have suffered enough.
Now we can be together.
Leave the past behind.

When our eyes meet in
a passionate time,
it’s in your eyes that
I see that you’re mine.

Your heartbeat is my calling.
It keeps me alive.
We belong together.
We belong forever.

You Killed Me

You killed me.
You took my passion,
and my will to survive.

You ripped my heart out.
Whent dancing on it.
Drained it dry.

You sucked the air
out of my lungs.
Smothered me.

You broke every bone
in my tired body.
You did it for fun.

You burned my eyes out.
I can never see beauty again.
You ruined everything.

You hurt me
with your selfishness.
You destroyed me
with your lies.
You killed me
with your hands.

You made me dead inside.